don't waste time read it

i am happy today, like normal, nothing unhappy.. probably just a small incident, but at last i figured out is just an misunderstood, so i did not put in heart anymore..

an emotional song can really bring you into another world, listening 眼淚笑了 by 劉力楊, i suddenly fell in love with this song, and i can't stop repeating it, this song already is very nice, and with the lead of her voice, it does bring me to an emotional world... but is not about my love life.. my love life is wonderful now..

i was actually just surfing on internet, then i click into nicole's photo album, which is named "all time favourite", i viewed one picture by one picture, and then i put my concentrate on her high school picture, looking them happily take photos, suddenly i have a strong feeling that wanted to cry, i suddenly miss my high school life a lot, not only han chiang, also a little bit of chung ling butterworth high school memory, today i was chatting with shiang teng, that bring back me a lot of memory, it really happened a lot between us, and that's probably lead to why i am treasuring this friend so much, the love for her is not just word can describe, not the love "love" i mean, is just i care this friend very much, i felt guilty that i used to treat her that way, but what ever happen is happened, just wish she can always be happy with everything she has now.. back to my chung ling high school time, there are some friends that i won't forget, li zhu, we knew each other since kindergarden, that's why there's a strong tied between us because we always count how long we know each other, and the amount is always proud, because i have such a long friendship with someone, probably now we are now in different world, but i never forget our time together, she and me always will reached school early, and so i always went up one floor and find her and talk with her, topic never ends, we gossiped a lot, really like "bat po".. hah hah.. well, my friend, i hope this friendship can really last long, cause i always enjoyed talk in cantonese with you.. probably the next is zi xi, i don't know how to describe my relationship with her, hmm, because of st, i get to know her, cause she is the monitor of 1C8, and i always will appear in 1C8 to find st, and that's how i know her, and if i didn't remember wrong, st was the vice monitor, well, i remember quite well, in form 1 st don't like me find her that much in her class, well, i don't know why, hah hah, so that zixi always make excuse for me, well, what exactly happen i don't know why, but i get along very well with zi xi, and might be cause of zee yean, well, i don't know whether i am a lesbian way back in form 1, might be i am, but probably a bisexual, i forgot whether did i like zi xi, but i do remember one thing clearly, one day, me, zee yean and zi xi, three of us sitting inside gesen, don't know why we are funny arguing things about zee yean, then both of us stand up and look at each other, and i do remember she is the one who kissed my face, but she said i am the one who kissed her, well, is you zi xi, is you... hah hah, i blushed for that time, funny... and thanks for doing my KH homework for me, for those sewing folio, i appreciate a lot, hah hah... actually that time i was a very bad result student, and you are one of the top student which studied in A classes, wonder why we can get along so well, that actually make me quite proud.. hah hah.. well well, next next is zee yean, a very good friend of mine since we same class in 1C5, she is a very kind person that i can say, we also always gossip together, and always have our lunch together, i remember her mother is a teacher and is very strict to her, that's why we always have to do things hiddenly, we some more rent a room in an apartment which is opposite our school, we always stay back, that room only cost me RM10 per month.. hah hah, we together leave chung ling in 2005, which a better future for us.. even though we are did not connect each other much, but this friend, i always remember.. mong shuang, an unexpected friend for me, same class in form 2 which is 2C1, don't know why i always feel that 2C1 gathered most of the famous people in school, i mean those famous people for me, ye ling, wan tyng, ding hui, lymin, hui ni, these people are quite famous in that form, hah hah, even see theng in that class, how i meet mong shuang, i don't know her at all actually till..., one day, me and see theng actually sit together, and she and ye ling sit at the back there, i think me and see theng talk too much and she and ye ling talk too much too, see theng and mong shuang got swapped place, at first i was so unhappy, why have to swap see theng away, and swap someone that i didn't know at all to sit with me, and some more she look so soft and polite, tah tah... nope, don't judge a book with its cover, although i am not girlish as her, but we actually have lots of thing in common, and then here goes our kaypo kaypo thing, we get along so damn well, she is a very funny girl, which i really love to talk with her, she always have a giordano umbrella and tupperware water bottle with her, this is her signature, there are 3 things which i won't forget about, 1, we went to S.H.E qian chang hui when we found out i love selina and she loves hebe. 2, 放開this song. 3, one day, the malay teacher ask, "siapa tak ada bawa buku?", me and her raise our hand, great, half of the class didn't bring, no need start class, and then few second after we put down our hand, we say "其實我有帶", this is ever funniest thing i ever experienced, we laugh non stop for that 默契... hui ni, a girl that i admire quite a long time, since i met her since end of form 1, but we never get along well, even form 2 we are arranged to sit together, even though i was a little bit happy, but i never dare talk with her, cause she is so cool, so that at the end, she changed to other place and that's how i choose to sit with see theng, but then i think she never knows i ever admire her, but after we are different class from form 3, we started to get along a little bit better, we always hit each other head without reason and always kacau each other.. even now, still keep a little contact with her. see theng, think of her, i recall those childish thing that i ever did, really childish i mean, she probably is the first girl that i will lay an eye on, well, i better put inside my memory, cause those are really stupid acting.. a friend that i quite care for, even though i has had those stupid acting, but at the end we still be best friend, one of the friend that i still will contact. tan lee ming, form 3, only i know her existent, i don't know who i throw away in mind, but i think i fall for her quite fast, but too bad, my k borther also lay an eye on him, but still i help them to be together, but i won't denied that i like this girl before, i never forget i always stay back cause you have girl guides activity, and also have rui wen and chee jye, one taurus versus 3 scorpio, hah hah, is too long to talk about, on my 2003 birthday, i waited you for whole day, but i never get to see you on that day, how stupid, but i didn't dislike you at all, even though i have no feelings for you at all now, but i think i always hope you can happy, how i wish you have facebook and i can know how well you do. who else i haven't mention? to be honest, there's not much people i can remember of, ok, let me think, without flipping my facebook contacts, i type it out, for testing my memory lee lye hoon, lai hoi sim, samantha lee pei yee, lee lay kuan, leong jing ling, lee chun sean, lean eng seah, lim boon han, wong wan tyng, caryn tan khai lyn, chan mun yee, lim sing yong, jamie ang, cherrie tan xiang wen, cheah wan chi(wikiki)-i wonder how she is doing now, lost contact since she changed her school, yeow may yin, calrin lee pei chin, oh gosh, i remember quite a lot people,.. hah hah.. by the way, i do enjoyed some of my time in chung ling, cause i always wonder around the school without get caught, a pro of me.. cause i am secretary of traffic, president of green group, wat else? oh, vice president of junior jaycees, some more bendahari of rekacipta club, what the hack is that, hah hah.. oops, i suddenly remember a bunch of friend, ch'ng hui li, hnin yee kyaw, and those traffic society senior that really took good care of me.. hah hah, i do miss those time now, except attending class, the most happy time is i enjoyed traffic this society, free and easy, but i never forget when i got choosen to be secretary of that society, those people that same form with me, sudden boycott me, those feeling are really sucks, luckily i asked for a "teng dong ku" to vice secretary, quite remember there's a 2 day camp, i did my best to get the best PL, but guess what, when they announced my name, no one support, no one clap, well, come to think of it, i do capable to get the best PL but my social life is not that good.. i think that's started lead me to down, i used to have many many many friends, now.. no more.. i just stick with some, pretty lazy to get contact cause when i treat everyone as friend, what i got is disappointed.. what am i talking now.. blur.. cause is 5am now..

why do i crap so much here, i can't even remember what i wrote, but i think i wanted to write it down cause i don't want lost memory of those important people in my life.. thanks to you guy, that become me today.. i don't know the me today is bad or good, but i quite enjoyed my life, i am trying hard to get rid of my depressing and some stupid attitude of mine.. ta ta.. those who really read the whole post, sorry for wasting your energy, cause is really nothing to do with you guys, cause those people i wrote here, non of it will read it..

bie bie, gonna kill me cause so late also haven't sleep, and i some more blog other people and didn't say one word of you.. but i want tell you i love you, thanks for loving me..

emotion blog

Don't know why i suddenly feel like writing something.. i know i am very emotional now..
i don't know what i want to write, but i just want to type as nobody business..

is 15 of May 2009, few more hours for me to step in 21 year old world, i probably should be happy but i have a feeling that i am depress and tired now.. i don't know why, but i can say that this year my days till today unhappy is more than happy, i didn't exactly go count how many days i am unhappy. probably is just i remember the unhappy more than the happy one, i should say lots of things happen, i realised i am not a good lover as i am used to be, i remember at our beginning of my relationship is only fills with happy and happiness, been together for about one year and seven months, i have to admit the passion has decrease, long distance relationship is really hard, after i back from malaysia this year, we had a lot of fights, but i know mostly is because of me, i didn't care her much enough, i always have stupid excuses to let her be alone. i did not do this on purpose, but i know she has hurt a lot by my attitude, sometimes i really feel stress for holding her, i always let her down when she has hope to me, i always made her care for me and i did not repay anything back, i actually wondering how long can we still go on, to be honest, i still love her, but i don't know how to make myself as passionate as i am before, people says after a period of time, a couple will be less romantic and less passionate, i wonder is this true, but i know it is not, look at siang, i do feel guilt that i do this to her, but what can i do? i know she had sacrifice a lot for letting me do anything i want, and always let her be alone, i wonder what i can make her happy, she cares for me a lot, but i always let her down, she always gives me the best, but what the heck that i do to her.. i know if i keep acting like this, she will leave me one day, 2 more months i will be seeing her, i did not want to separate with her, but when we fight, we always nearly break up with each other, but that is my fault for not carng enough, but i am really tired keep fighting and argue, i wonder can i give her happiness if i keep make her sad.. i don't know why i write this, but i am sorry for everything i do, i tried my best, i am just too selfish to be myself.. but i know living a live without you is not that i can imagine..

emo? i really hate study now, i really hate it, i wish i can stop now, it really makes me very very very tired, i don't know how long can i still stand, it keep depressing me, i did a bad job in everything, tests, assignments, i wonder have i put my heart inside, but all i can do is just continue because i can't disappoint my mum, i think that's the only reason why i am still here, i wish i can choose my path way again.. skipping classes, ignoring all my tutorials and lectures notes, it does feel great when i can just lay on bed and watch movie and sleep... i know the consequences, for getting bad result, i really wish i hadn't have good result before, why the heck that i get 4 D in my first sem last year? it does make me happy at that moment, but after that, i am sorry, i really hate that 4 D, for making my life miserable, because i keep compete with myself and to be honest, i did feel like i am competing with others, this is not the thing i want, i don't want to be compare with anyone, can i be back a low grade student? i think i can in this sem, because i have no heart to study at all..

i know i am a very troublesome person, i do know myself, dramatic, hah hah. i am, i do knows sometimes i do things that let people dislike me, never mind, just sometimes i quite hate myself for having that attitude..

some people are just born to make people life miserable, what the heck they thinks they are? i know is bad talk about other's at their back, but who cares? everyone did that.. probably not everyone, but i am sure 80% of them did..
what the fuck business for those people who have mouth talk about others when they have the fucking attitude in themselves? i really hate those people.. probably the one i am talking now will not loook at this post, but to be honest, shut your fucking mouth when you wan say people..
for those who spread rumours to someone that you barely knows, and yet, i now tell you, is NOT us who did it, but i do agree what that person say in my mind, thanks for not bringing trouble anymore, but even if I am the one who did it, so? don't go fucking suspect innocent, to be honest, i do dislike you.. get of my way, well you probably already did.. thanks..

til now, i still don't know what am i typing, i just type.. i feel better... hah ahh.. just being emotional..

The Great Couple Meme

Bie, i finally do it lo, is not you doing alone ok.. love you oh and enjoy.. muackz, i hope i brought your day

tell us about the first time you met and your first impression of him/her:
well, i would prefer i talk about the first time i saw her, she gave me a very comfortable feeling about her, my first impression to her is so damn good, and that's make me keep spy at her everytime i in college.
The first time we meet is at Starbucks in e-gate, we sit outside and we talk with each other, 2 strangers just start to know each other like that. And guess what, i really appreciate that first meeting, cause that's the beginning of my happiness.

what’s a weird habit or quirk that s/he has?:
hmmm, basically, the habits she having is not weird to me, so i can't think of any, but probably she is doing the way i wanted to, cause she is a very good lover, she loves me like nobody else(except my family), sad case for her is she has to bare my weird habit, like the one she said, keys on dashboard, hah hah.. sorry bie.. i just don't like it..

what makes him/her happy?:
when i put my full attention on her, when i spend time with her, when i back from Australia, everything of me.. heh heh.. thick face but is the truth

what makes him/her sad?:
when i disappoint her

what makes him/her angry?:
when i am too into series or movies and ignore her

what excites him/her?
heh heh, MEEEE!!!

tell us something funny about him/her:
hah hah hah... when she is dumb in games, or when she is playing rush hour, when she can't make her way out,
or when, i wanted to.... not telling

what’s s/he like at home?:
still, stay with me, oh oh, she clean the house, EVEN mine...

what’s s/he like at work/school?:
i don't know about her school things, i know she don't really skip lecture, but in work, she is a very good helper, and we worked together in Mushtari, we always wait for lunch time and dinner time.. hah ahh

describe his/her room:
a wardrobe(designed by her mum), a make up table with a mirror, a tv and a DVD player, and a foldable tilam, AND AND got bear bear, mek mek and chocolate, oh have a bathroom too(my bayybie private bathroom, only she uses it)

what’s his/her best friend like?:
mei ching, lay yuin, etc.. well, i don't know how to describe her friends, but i know is not bad person

do you know who s/he hates the most?:
no one, she is an innocent one... if i am wrong, she is still my bie

have you met his/her exes?:
the one she loved for quite a long time, yeah i have saw him before.. nothing special to say

do his/her parents like you?:
i don't know

what’s the first thing s/he would do or say if s/he fell down and scraped their knee:
痛痛痛。。。hah hah, she haven't fell down in front of me..

what would s/he do in an emergency situation with other people involved?:
erm...

which shop would s/he spend the most time at in a shopping mall?:
cutie shop, clothes, shoes, cinema, restaurant.. everything la woi

what would s/he have for a typical breakfast?:
recently SOUP with plenty of carrots!!!

where would s/he want to go for dinner?:
western in pulau tikus, little cottage(our new favourite), everything but with me

what kind of movie would s/he choose at the cinema?:
Comedy

describe his/her taste in music:
a bit noisy type..

if s/he wasnt going out with you, who would s/he be going out with?:
her mum and dad, but basically is all ME

what item in his/her wardrobe would you like to burn:
i am an environmental person, i won't ask her burn anything.. she still have to wear panties, bras, clothes and pants

what is s/he good at?:
cleaning, surfing, loving me, knitting, driving manual car

what is s/he totally horrible at?:
getting angry at me(SOB)

what’s something about him/her that is annoying/infuriating?:
erm... there's nothing particularly i can think of

what’s something that you two fundamentally disagree on?:
cheating on each other

what’s something that you two agree whole-heartedly on?:
that we love each other.. and why do you have to put question mark(??)

is s/he possessive?:
oh yeah... hah hah hah

why would s/he succeed in life?:
because she has me

what is the coolest gift that s/he has ever given you?:
hand knitted scarft

what is s/he obsessed with?:
ME!!, lipstick jungle

what does s/he avoid at all costs?:
if she really can, her project

what does s/he spend the most money on?:
Digi reload cards, and cutie things sometimes, and mostly is on me

describe his/her typical sunday:
wake up, call me with her sexy voice, shower, breakfast, online, online, online, online, online, online, go out with her mum or dad, then online online online online.. and all ME

why would s/he be dangerous?:
she is actually a very scary person, to her family and me, but to me, i really scare she angry at me, even though i know is my fault.. sorry bie

tell us about a time s/he looked absolutely gorgeous:
most of the time, seriously

what’s something about him/her that would surprise all of his/her friends?:
hah hah.. so many lerh... i prefer keep to myself

what do you love most about him/her?:
her caring, her tolerance, her loving, and because i love her

the biggest lesson you have learnt from loving your partner:
i know what heaven is

4th attempt :)

I think this is my fourth attempt in creating a header for bie's blog ...

Well, I really do hope you like it ..

No, sexy clothes ... and hopefully no pictures that you hate me putting it on your blog ...

Love you bie ... Thanks for everything <3

something to celebrate...

woohoo... like i said, there's something to celebrate ------> i abandoned my blog for 3 months...

is not a happy thing thou, i think in this 3 months, i mean at the first month, there are lots of people come and visit my blog, but... but... nothing post up... hah hah, i think some of it get frustrated and will think don't know cien open this blog for what, waste space... delete la.. then those people not coming back again to get dissapointed again...

actually i have a lot to blog, but i know myself, i don't actually know how to blog, i feel like my blog is kind of like piece of shit, using stupid english, bad grammer, and is not interesting at all... but still i am still blogging here, actually i am just a little bit lazy to blog, i am so lazy to upload photos, if this blog website can let me one time upload 20 pictures at one time MIGHT BE i will blog more, i like to upload photos more than type, cause is easier, people always say one photo can say thousand words, one word is just one word. just like "first", do you know what i am saying if i don't continue type? i am being super crazy here. stop the crap..

well, i also don't know what to say more... hmmm...

i have been in my holidays about 2 months, what have i done so far? sleep, eat, watch movie, shopping, work 4 days, sweep and mop floor, wash clothes, hang clothes, (i am a good girl that help mummy), and most of it is spending time with my dear dear.

Come to think of it, i have be with my dear dear one year three months and more a bit, we actually didn't by each other side more than half the time, even though sometimes we have some big fights, sometimes is like end of the relationship, but still we are still together, cause i won't want to loss someone like her, that loves me, cares me and means everything to me. Bie, i love you...

I am a bit lazy to continue already, i will upload photos if I AM NOT LAZY.

See you you you you you you...

dear dear.. dear dear ...

有人投訴我很久沒有update我的blog, 其實現在的我真的沒什麽東西update... 

所以我就寫寫一些東西就好了， 是關於我的寶貝dear dear 的。。。 

dear, it has been long time i didn't update my feeling towards you in the blog, 

and that made you have to keep go back to my old blog to look at it... 

sorry orh dear dear, i thought both of us 老妻老妻 ad, so no need d ma... 

mana tau, u mind one wor... and said that i don't sweet anymore... 

so i will say a little bit here.. 

dear, today is our 382 days with each other, but we have 226 days which we are separate with each other... how cruel is that... but sometimes thing will always have it good side and bad side, 

i know this long distance relationship have brought to us a lot of problem sometimes, 

cause i can't right by your side anytime you need me, 

and you know me, addicted to series and games, once i started, is hardly to stop me, 

so i know everytime  i let you have hard time to tolerate me, 

sorry dear dear... 

but dear, sometimes have to think, if we are not separated, 

and we see each other everyday, might be it will have negative things happen, 

so hor, like that only you will treasure the time when i come back =p

dear dear, no matter what, i still love you very much, 

sometimes i know i might ignore you cause of series and games, 

but that's the only thing i addicted to, and don't forget, you are also one of the thing i addicted to too... heh heh... 

dear dear arh, i am glad that you have friend there with you, 

no matter who it is, i don't mind, as long as you don't 24/7 stay at home alone, 

i want you go have fresh air outside instead of every awake time you just face the lappie. 

i won't angry you for you going out with whoever you want, 

as long as you promise me you are safe and i am ok with it, 

and not that i don't love you and don't care for you, 

is just i trust you... 

everything solve with a "trust",  dear, so please please don't angry if i too over in series.. heh heh... i will compensate you when i back k... 

stay on and wait me back... and don't bad mood alright. 

and now you have to concentrate on your final exam, 

one paper only, so work hard alright, so we can be with each other in aus together. 

love you orh.. muackz... 

ple ple oink oink

i remembered someone posted my long piak sleeping picture on her blog... 

heh heh, i also got, but this one is much more cute... keke =p

chan mek mek on maple chan face... so cute ^^

some more miss me and "lau nua" ... hand on my mouth to hide something(laughing)

make a short one here... 

you made my day dear, by seeing you so cute oink-oink... 

muackz

i love you